Anti-cellulite knickers are pants

So says Which ? as reported today.  It disputes the claims made by some firms such as M&S which sell these undergarments in growing quantities, that they reduce the appearance of cellulite.  Two consultant surgeons and a dermatologist concluded that any tight underwear would have a similar effect.  To which Bermondsey Mum can only say " Well, duh...!" Of course that is the case, but confronted by a figure hugging dress, or worse, anything in jersey, where oh where is BM going to find normal underwear, however tight, that does the job and holds it all seamlessly in ?

As for the small print that Which? highlights for criticism, including the inclusion of aloe vera and caffeine in the fabric of these 'control' garments, well BM for one has never stopped to read any of that nonsense.  Because it is of course, nonsense:  a friend who worked for a global cosmetics company, told BM many years ago that the success of their bestselling anti-cellulite cream was almost entirely due to the fact that it contained small quantities of tanning agent and we all know that slightly tanned (with cellulite) thighs look oh so much better than pasty, alabaster ones.

So you see, we know it's all pants but everyone likes to look good - even if that is only true when fully clothed. 

UPDATE NB. Just to clarify, 'control' undergarments are just that - never, under any circumstances to be seen in the boudoir (think Bridget Jones and shudder....).   

Losing (and finding) a look

Bermondsey Mum always struggles at this time of year to work out what is her look - a dilemma shared by Polly Vernon at the Observer who wrote about this a few weeks ago.  There's the first sign of trouble you see; Bermondsey Mum turns her attention to the issue on the first day of proper Summer weather, whereas Polly for all her worrying was already ahead of the game !

Even so, Polly's prescription (new shoes) doesn't help BM since of the suggested purchases, only one would be vaguely possible (the Pierre Hardy wedges for Gap) and even then only in a fantasy life which did not involve school pickups, housework, gardening etc.  As for cage sandals and peep-toe boots...I don't think so.

It's an intractable problem because beyond a certain age (no point being coy, BM is 44), the risk of looking ridiculous far outweighs the need to be 'on trend'.   For example, BM has already been through the leggings with oversized T-shirt look, jumpsuits, ra-ra skirts and combat trousers, all of which first time around, she managed to persuade herself at the time, she rocked !   

But that's the issue:  without sounding even more ancient that I am, fashion now just seems derivative and not of some early 20th century era but the 1980's for heavens sake ! So there we are, BM's fashion dilemma...can't do cage sandals/leggings/ra-ra skirts and not yet ready for the M&S range of elasticated waist trousers and skirts.